31 for 21, Day 5: stepping on my soap box for a minute ;)

Question of the day:


Erin B said...


What has been the hardest question you've had to answer regarding Evan?

I am learning so much from the 31 for 21 blogs and loving it!! Thanks so much :)

Thank you for the question as well as the compliment, Erin! :)  Ahhhhhh....  I would have to say there is one question in particular that I've been asked a few times by different people, and it totally gets to me.  If you are someone who asked me this question in the past- I am by no means angry with you for asking it!  It's just one of those things..... Ok, so here's the question:

Do you know how "high-functioning" Evan will be?


This would be just like me asking a fellow parent who has a child the same age as Evan- do you know what your child's GPA will be once he/she is in high school?  College?  No, there's no way you know this, and really, I can't predict the future either.  A friend of mine, Sheva, wrote the most awesome post on this "high-functioning" subject not long ago and I absolutely LOVED it.  You can find that post HERE.

Just as you provide the best educational opportunities for your child and keep high expectations, I am doing the same with Evan.  If we assume that people with Down syndrome can't achieve nearly as much as their "typical" peers and don't expect as much out of them, they will most likely never reach their full potential.  If we provide the proper therapies and educational opportunities, believing they ARE smart and are capable of becoming productive members of society, then their chances are much, much higher of being successful.  Now that people with Down syndrome are being accepted more and more into American society, there are college programs popping up all over the country for people with intellectual disabilities.  Some programs allow them to live on campus and learn the skills required to live independently.  Yes, it really can be possible.  Some people with Down syndrome enjoy going into the culinary arts or study to become an assistant at a veterinarian hospital.  Others work to become teachers in private centers.  The future is looking oh so bright, and I know there will be even more opportunities available for Evan once he reaches his high school years.

Some food for thought:  If you were told at your child's birth that he would *never* be able to walk or talk- would you still attempt to teach him?  This is what families were told about their babies born with Down syndrome here in the US just 40 years ago.  So how many of them do you think actually pushed their child to achieve?  Back then, doctors recommended they be sent to mental institutions since there was no faith that people with DS were capable of functioning and being productive members of society.  Sadly, these thoughts and practices continue today in different countries and cultures around the world.

What would you do if you were told in the hospital that your baby was born a genius?  He would be able to achieve anything and everything as long as he was exposed to it.  How would you react?  Of course you would expose him to everything you could get your hands on, send him to the best schools, and expect him to be successful in whatever path he chose.

How about if you were told your child has average intelligence, but will hate school.  He will drop out and  get mixed up in the wrong crowd.  He will be in and out of correctional facilities throughout adulthood.  Should you start shopping bail bonds and defense attorneys when you get home from the hospital?  Obviously there is no crystal ball, and we have no idea what will happen 15 and 20 years from now.  We simply do our very best at raising our children and set high expectations.  It's ALL about expectations.  Setting the bar high.  Not so far that it's out of reach- yes, Evan will learn at a slower pace... Math will most likely be more difficult for him, but he will be expected to try his best and we will believe in him.  We know he is smart.

Early Intervention is a relatively new concept.  Catch them while they are as young as possible since those early years are the most important when it comes to learning and brain development.  Evan began therapies at just 8 weeks old!  We are only beginning to see the full potential of individuals with Down syndrome.  As the education system becomes "higher-functioning" you will notice that people wearing designer genes will be "higher-functioning" too.

I answered a question regarding mosaic Down syndrome and what that means on our adoption blog today also- be sure to check it out HERE! :)